I posted this on the campaign page but I wanted to post about it here as well. I needed time to think about how I’m going to move forward after dealing with a crappy lawyer. My husband’s lawyer Jim C Pettis who is with Pettis Stone Law Firm failed to show up to mediation. I felt like a failure because I had found Mr. Jim Pettis to represent our family court case. He lied on several occasions about the hearings and what they were about. I became irritated and wanted to fire the lawyer. My husband disagreed because Mr. Jim Pettis was able to set up visitation times unlike the other lawyers that we hired. Unfortunately my husband and I do not see eye to eye on this lawyer that’s failed my family on at least two occasions. Due to this I fully detached from everything including the campaign. I was wrong for shutting down the campaign. I felt like it was my fault for finding a lawyer that didn’t care about my family and lied to us on several occasions. The Honorable Judge Dawson Engle that has been assigned to the case has made the Biomom accountable for her actions. She’s responsible for my husband’s court costs because it shouldn’t have come to this. I have a little bit of hope that he will continue to make the Biomom accountable for her actions. I shouldn’t have shut down the campaign due to Mr. Jim Pettis not doing as he is paid to do. He advised me not to post about the court case on Facebook but I’ll gladly ignore his advice since he ignored his job to represent my husband like he should have. I apologize for shutting down the campaign due to Mr. Jim Pettis and his lack of caring for my family. I should have kept the campaign going instead of closing it. I deeply apologize for not standing up for family court corruption when I should have and for that I feel embarrassed. I will create images and will be posting them soon.
After a couple of months away from my campaign I decided to blog about something that’s been on my mind. When I logged into this blog I was welcomed with a reply post from a Biomom. As I’m reading this unnecessary comment that this “reader” wrote I began to feel bad for the Stepmom and how the Biomom painted a horrible picture of the Stepmom. I began feeling bad for the Stepmom that is being stalked and put down by an angry Biomom. I also began to feel irritation. The irritation was due to me being in a similar situation. The Biomom in our nightmare relentlessly accuses me of abusing my bonus daughter. She blames me for so much stuff. The Biomom obviously hates me very much and to the point she’s ripped my family apart due to her lies and manipulation. Even though the Biomom hates me she’s obsessed with checking up on me. I have trackers on my blog and other various sites and I see that the Biomom visits my sites way too much. I don’t understand how she can be so obsessed about me but yet rips my family apart and posts Facebook notes about how I abused her daughter.
I don’t understand how these Biomoms can hate us so much but yet they continually complain about us and check up on us. I find that it’s childish and cowardly to treat someone like this. I’ll never understand this because I’m not able to think in such a low manner. I feel bad for Biomoms who go out of their way to fuck up the lives of the Stepmoms but obsess over every damn thing that they do. Seriously “ladies” the unnecessary bullshit needs to end. The high school drama should have stayed at school and not continued into your “adulthood”. Why focus on hating us so much but you get pissed off at the things we post? Stop checking up on us and you wouldn’t have anything to complain about.
My “I Don’t Understand” rant is done.
Dealing with alienation is tough to deal with let alone other life events that occur. At the beginning of the year my husband’s grandmother passed away. This started anger and bitter feeling towards the Biomom. Over the years the Biomom has removed her child’s rights due to her hatred towards my husband and I. Because of that not only has my bonus daughter missed out on memories with her father but with her great-grandmother as well. The last time my bonus daughter saw her great-grandmother was in 2010. It’s heartbreaking to see that many memories were not only ripped from my husband but more so with my bonus daughter. It pisses me off that the Biomom caused her daughter to missed out on so many memories and time with her great-grandmother. The bitterness that I thought I took care of concerning the Biomom reappeared the day we received the call that his grandmother passed away. My heart sank. The anger and bitterness that I held towards the Biomom reared it’s ugly head. There’s so much that the Biomom has removed and denied her daughter just because of the hate that she has towards us. I’m more than upset. It’s more like I’m fucking pissed. I’m fucking pissed that my bonus daughter wasn’t able to get to know her great-grandmother due to her own selfish mothers behavior. It has been difficult to deal with this death knowing that my bonus daughter will never get to know her great-grandmother like a child should. Will there ever be healing with this death? No, probably not. There’s nothing that can change the fact that my bonus daughter had her memories with her great-grandmother ripped away from her. My heart is broken and so is my family, more so now that this has occurred. The pain is real and it’s raw, but this is how alienation and death feels like. It’s an awful feeling to deal with but such is life.
I don’t know why the Biomom insist on stalking me online. I have a visitor tracker on all of my blogs and other various things online. Today I have noticed that the Biomom has been on my blog 12 times today. I don’t understand why she’s so obsessed with me. She continues to harass and stalk me online yet she’s blames me for the very thing she does. This isn’t just a here and there type of thing this is all of the time. It’s sickening to know that she has spent so much time stalking me. If she put that much effort into making sure her child has her rights then perhaps my family wouldn’t be ripped apart. Sadly and unfortunately she has focused so much hate on me that she’s checking on me nearly every single day. I’m sure there’s other Stepmoms out there that deal with the same from the Biomoms. Is this something that we are going to have to get used to? Is this something that makes these cowards more in “charge” if they know every single thing about us? I doubt it. I think it’s because they are insecure. We have what they want. We have the loving and supportive husband that they divorced because they were too blind to see how lucky they were when they were married to our husbands. Perhaps I’m totally grabbing things out of the air in order for me to feel better about a crappy mother stalking me online. What makes me more upset is that she continues to do this even though she’s fucked up my family and ruined a volunteer opportunity at CASA for me. The Biomom has obviously decided to be obsessed with me. I could find it amusing but it’s sickening that this type of person won’t leave me the fuck alone. After all of the heartache that she’s put on my family she continues to stalk me. I don’t get it. I’ll never understand an insecure cowardly person like the Biomom is. I don’t find it amusing, I find that it backs up my feelings about her. She confirms to me over and over again about how crappy of a person she is.
Yesterday was our first court date since 2009. I was prepared with files with proof to show the judge that the Biomom was withholding visitation for no good reason. The judge talked with my bonus daughter in his chambers. It felt like forever during that time. The judge wasn’t impressed that the Biomom had withheld visitation between the child and father. He wasn’t happy with the way the Biomom had told her daughter about this court date. The day that the Biomom was served she showed her daughter the papers that had been served. The judge explained that this behavior was inappropriate for a child. He also explained that my bonus daughter wasn’t okay with me having a blog that contained her photo on it. It was a blog that I created for our family. Even though I spent hours on that blog designing the layout and such, I took it down. There was justice given to our family but we’re not out of the woods yet. My husband can see his daughter but I still can’t. That hearing will be set at a later time. Mediation has to begin and hopefully from there things will get back to normal. I contained myself pretty well in the courtroom. I sat on the front row and when the case was heard the table in front of me was were the Biomom and her lawyer sat. The Biomom didn’t like that she has to pay part of the attorneys fees for my husband since she caused him to file for an enforce visitation. The Biomom shook her head. I doubt she was happy with that. Karma is slowly coming to the Biomom. She has ripped apart my family and should be held accountable for her behavior. This judge seems to see through the Biomoms bullshit games. I hope he continues to keep her accountable for ripping away my bonus daughters rights. Please keep our family in your thoughts as we begin to get things back on track.
Today is her birthday. My bonus daughter is 12 years old. It’s been a numbing feeling all day with a mix of tears. This is always a tough part of the year for my husband, which in return is a tough day for me. He hides the pain well but I can tell it’s tough on him. I never know what to say or do. I always create a card to post on my bonus daughter’s blog that I have for her. I also made her a Thanksgiving card as well. It always makes me think about all the birthdays and holidays that we have missed. My family has missed out on creating a ton of memories due to a selfish person. I always reflect on how much joy it was to have my bonus daughter around. We always laughed and had fun. Of course there were times where her daddy and I taught her right from wrong. I always worried if she’s being taught that morals is an important and that having a good character is a must have as well. Manners were also something that I tried to teach her. I know her mother wouldn’t teach her those things and my worry still stands. I doubt her mother will teach her right from wrong. That isn’t not okay to lie, that it’s better to have a good character, and good morals too. I worry about these things because the people around my bonus daughter is less than good examples on how to live and be a good person. The person that she’s suppose to be looking up to is manipulating her. It kills me to know that a mother would do such a thing to a child. I hope every day that my bonus daughter will grow up to be better than the examples around her. Days like today always makes me wonder how she’s doing. If she’s being properly being taken care of. That she’s doing well in school. I would like nothing more than to have my family together. Today is tough but I hope she’s doing well. I hope she grows up to be a strong, well mannered girl. That she’s a girl with high standards, a girl who knows that it’s not okay to lie, a girl who is smart, a girl who has morals, a girl who has a great character about her. I wish nothing but the best for her. I wish I could give her a hug today, but all that I can do is create her a card and place it on her blog. I feel like this is nothing but to me it’s a small way to let her know that I’m thinking of her today.
It’s okay that you don’t get along with the mother-in-law. It’s okay that you don’t get along with certain members of your extended family. Since 2008 I’ve struggled trying to figure out why my mother-in-law and two sister-in-laws have treated my family the way they are. It always bothered me that my husband never made an effort to speak to his mother. I understand why he doesn’t but I still tried to encourage him to speak to them. After his mother and two sisters betrayed him he didn’t have the desire to make an effort to keep in touch. This past year I’ve done a lot of emotional healing. One of those would be the issue with my in laws. My husband’s dads side of the family has been awesome and has supported my husband in every way that they possibly could. His mother and sisters actions have shown us that they don’t care about their family. This weighed heavily on me for years. I spoke with my therapist a lot about encouraging my husband to speak to his mother and sisters. My therapist told me that it’s okay that he doesn’t want anything to do with them. I had to realize that it’s okay not to have a perfect relationship with certain in laws. I also realized that I need to be more thankful for my father-in-law and grandma. Both of them are wonderful support systems for both my husband and I. I had to learn that it’s okay not to have a mother-in-law. I had to learn it’s okay not to have sister-in-laws too. After what they have done I honestly wouldn’t want to be around them, so why encourage my husband to do it? They are three very toxic people and I should respect my husbands desire not to speak with them. It took me years to realize that not everything works together and that’s perfectly okay. So from now on I will no longer encourage my husband to reach out to his mother and two sisters. He doesn’t ever encourage me to keep toxic people in my life, so therefore I should do the same.